The Two Words Guaranteed to Destroy any Relationship

Often times, following closely upon the heels of "I do" are the deadly words, "I deserve".  It permeates every aspect of our lives, and can be perpetual fertilizer for our resentment and anger.  In fact, the very beginning of sin, as it is recorded in the Bible comes from those very 2 words.  Satan thought, "I deserve", as he sought to take what he thought to be his rightful place in Heaven's hierarchy.  Eve was tempted by the deceit of these words as she sought to fill the void of "I deserve" while she bit into the fruit that she felt was withheld from her by a stingy God. As I look back on all of the vast number of incidents in my life where anger and resentment have grabbed the steering wheel and directed me into oncoming traffic, all of them found their root in the words "I deserve".  These words have become the very foundation of our American mindset as each individual seeks to grasp and claw for what they "deserve".  "I deserve to have a wife who supports me no matter what."  "I deserve to have kids that listen to me and heed my every command." "I deserve to have a boss who appreciates the work that I do." " I deserve to have a fair and just reward for my efforts." "I deserve, I deserve, I deserve." "I deserve to have horrible drivers not obliviously cut me off."  This concept of getting what we deserve slowly undermines every aspect of our lives as it pertains to anger and resentment.  During the past month, an amazing Biblical lesson was taught to me as I listened to the story of Abram as he stood in front of a vast, beautiful grazing range that by every law and right he deserved.  To his left stood his somewhat sketchy nephew, Lot.  Lot had made very few good choices to this point in his life, and what he truly deserved was the leftovers that Abram did not want. Abram, in an act contrary to what most people would find even reasonable, gave Lot the first choice of the land.  Of course, Lot chose all of the best for himself.  I have no doubt that Abram knew exactly what choice Lot would make, but Abram chose to eliminate "I deserve" from his vocabulary and thereby received an even greater blessing from God.  If I break it down even further in to what we truly deserve, there are countless verses in the Bible that tell us that what we truly deserve is spiritual and physical death. God, in his infinite grace, and in his wisdom (although I often wonder how wise it is that he chose me as His reclamation project), sent His Son to die for us.  The one person who actually could have said "I deserve" and actually been worthy of that sentiment. It goes against every lesson from human psychology to not spend our lives carving out what we deserve.  It goes against every urge we have when we disagree with our wives, husbands, coworkers, tax man, neighbors and kids. I still have a long journey ahead of me to erase these devastating words from my mindset and vocabulary, and I can bet that most of you who are reading this have some inroads to make in this area as well.  It is human nature and the whole course of human existence that we are battling against.  Although the battle will be fierce, we have assurance that God is on our side, and he has brought us beyond what we deserve, to a place where His Son frees us from those words.  The next time you get into an argument, get cut off in traffic, have a rough time with your boss, or have your kids do the exact opposite of what you desire, think the following thought.  In fact, picture the following scene.  Jesus, weeping blood in the Garden of Gethsemane, prays to his Father in Heaven if there is any way he can avoid bearing what we deserve on the cross.  He then surrenders His "I deserve" to the saving plan that his Father has in place.  Is your "I deserve" able to trump that?  If not, surrender the idea of what you deserve to the plan for peace that our Heavenly Father has for us.  I am betting some of you are even cringing as I paint a picture of a world where you have no rights and you rely on the whims of those around you. I cringe too.  But not as much as Jesus must have cringed when the nails pierced his hands, or when the soldier pierced his side or mocked him with cries of "save yourself".  He did not deserve that. We did.  Don't fall for the trap of rights and "I deserve".  Lead through your surrender to Jesus and his saving work on the cross. He will provide for all your needs. And that is far more than any of us deserve.