Called Out By God

My wife and I have had our share of difficulties in our young marriage. Some of these struggles include having a blended family, making several geographical moves in a short period of time, having two incomes, having one income, trying to carve out "married" time and a whole powder keg of other issues that can make marriage a challenge. Through much hard work, and even more "deliberation", my wife and I have managed to reach a consensus on most of the issues and seem to be headed in the right direction spiritually and in our marriage. One issue, however, that has been more divisive and debilitating than any other has been the issue of alcohol. This blog is not intended to castigate those who feel that Christianity and alcohol either should or should not be compatible. Arguments have been and will be made for as long as we inhabit the Old Earth. As for the New Heaven, I am sure that there will be no competitors for the feeling of love and connectedness that we experience in communion with the Father and the Son. There will be nothing that need enhance our experience in that realm. In this realm, I have made a commitment to my wife that I will abstain from alcohol in support of her. At times this has been difficult for me, as I seem to thrive on trying to grab a tiger by the tail as a way of life. I have been scratched playfully, gnawed on, batted around, and downright mauled by this tiger, but something still compels me to reach out for that tail again. I have an inkling that it may be my sin nature hard at work. At times I don't even want to pray to ask God for strength in this area because I feel that I can make a go of my little game of tame the tiger and manage it on my own. Why am I sharing this with you? Why am I up at 3 in the morning, attempting to write coherent thoughts while the rest of my family slumbers? (except for the cat who has gotten into a fresh batch of catnip-cats have their substance abuse issues as well:) I am up because earlier this evening I accepted an invitation for my wife and I to attend a dinner for volunteers at the church where we both serve and attend. This was the second reminder of the event, and although I am usually slow to respond to invites, my delayed reaction was not due to procrastination. It was due to indecision about whether my wife and I would even attend. We really like our church, and do feel that it is a place where we can grow together as a family and spiritually, but the invite reminded people that this event would include dinner, and the ever present "microbrew". Code name-Beer. It is not mine to judge individually whether beer is appropriate for each Christian attending. It is not my style to expect someone to change their beliefs or habits on account of me. It is certainly not my style to be up at 3 in the morning, wondering why alcohol has to be a part of this event of celebration. Awake and wondering what message it sends to the waiter, or waitress who may have struggles of their own. Awake and wondering what message it sends to the fellow believer who has an undisclosed need, or suffers from childhood wounds that come from alcohol abuse in the home. Wondering what the payoff is for the Christian. I cannot say whether it is a sin for a people of God to use alcohol, but I safely can say that it is a mistake for God's people to use alcohol in a flippant way that mirrors the world. (even in Portland) We are called out from the world. We live in the midst of a world where those who are apart from God find myriad ways to seek solace apart from God. Although the solace that alcohol offers is fleeting, its use and abuse are prevalent in our society. I in no way expect that the church I attend would abuse alcohol, even in this celebratory setting, but I still must wonder what is the payoff? Are we more hip? Are we better able to relate to the dude at the bar who got off work at 7 am and is drinking his breakfast? Are we better able to serve our fellow man by being our fellow man? Are we exhibiting our spiritual freedoms as a kind of advert that "you too some day can be this spiritually mature." Are we letting the recovering alcoholic know that the shells have stopped falling, and we can come out of the foxhole now? Maybe we just really enjoy the taste of a quality beer every now and again. As a Christian, we are not responsible directly for the actions of others, but we do have an Adversary in this world who very skillfully plies his trade. He enjoys the process of scratching, clawing, batting, and eventually consuming those who do and don't follow Jesus. It is imperative that those who do follow Jesus be distinguished from those who don't. This is something that we all struggle with on a daily basis, in our words and in our deeds. We reach out to those who are in need, but often succumb to our own wants in the end. We pray for reconciliation, while driving the wedge of separation even deeper. We make promises to those we love, but in moments of weakness compromise and settle for less than what we promised. We are supposed to be a people called to God and set apart, but in a world that can swallow us up, this becomes more and more difficult. Yet, we are still called out of this world, to a life that mirrors the perfection that Jesus attained. I know that we all will far short of His example, and I know that we will need countless dispensations of Grace from a a patient and loving Heavenly Father until the day that He takes us to our home, but we are either hurting the kingdom or helping the kingdom. I can only think that the use of alcohol has the capacity to do far more of the former than the latter. So, I will ask myself this question in moments of weakness, or when the devil reminds me that I can drink and it is even my right as a Christian to do so. WHAT IS THE KINGDOM PAYOFF? Does it move us further down the field, or does it stuff us at the goal line? God--I pray that you will lend me strength (or outright give it to me) to endure those times when the devil would compromise my effectiveness by making me the norm, instead of the exception.

The Responsibility of Grace

God has more grace for us than we could ever hope for or hopefully than we will ever need. This is a concept that most in "Christian" circles would agree upon. Where the path splinters is in what this actually means to the one who has a true relationship with Jesus. I have been reading about some "Christian" authors who are espousing that God's grace accepts us as we are, and that he loves us no matter what kind of people we are. We will show his presence by loving all around us, no matter how unlovely they may seem. All of this seems very reasonable, and in fact is right in line with my beliefs. The problem is in the current trend to de-religion ( new word) Christianity. I know, it is about relationship, but some authors seem to rely on throwing out all the tenets of Christianity along with the guilt and fear that was drummed into them by false religion. This is used as a platform to combat the aggressive "political" Christianity which is also wrong in it's castigation of an unsaved world. I am sensing a groundswell of Christian relativism that says, "as long as you are loving, and in a relationship with God, everything is alright." In my reading, I have seen little attention paid to the life changing power of Jesus. I am actually angry, in the way that Jesus was angry when they used his temple for ill gotten gain." Many who have been wounded by churches who have acted in the name of religion, not in the name of Jesus have caused harm, but this constant attack on "organized religion and its values", is a travesty. It has become justification that anything goes in the church, as long as love is present. If love is all that is needed, then what was Paul striving for or against? I am certain that love of God will drive our actions, but it does require work on our part. Christianity is not a "sit back and love and wait on the Lord religion". Nothing has to be earned through any of our efforts, but should not our love for Christ and what he has done for us inspire more than this cultural relativism? Should not our love inspire us to strive for the morality that is so clearly shown in the Bible? Yes, we must love all, but we should never settle for being all. Lord, help me not to be really upset at those who would diminish your work and try to fit it into a world sized box. help me to follow my words with actions that help me to live my life by your standards, not by the standards of a sinking world.

I Worship a Trash Talking God

When I was younger, I remember debating with my friends the merits of trash talking. We watched Magic and Bird go at it all the time and knew they were often times competing verbally as well as physically. There was one close fought game where Larry Bird told his opponent "I am going to get the ball there, dribble it to there, take the shot, and win the game. He did just that.
This seemed pretty cool, but I know One who can talk an even better game on a larger stage, and who even gave us a written record of it.

Job was a man who was questioning why God had taken so much away from him. He had followed God's laws. He had not strayed. He questioned the reasons why God would do this. This is God's response in Job 38 "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. God is calling Job out in no uncertain terms. God begins to "Trash Talk" about his many accomplishments. "Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn it's place"
"Does the rain have a father" "Who fathers the drops of dew" "Who has the wisdom to count the clouds? Who can tip over the water jars of Heaven?' 'Who can tame the leviathan" This is my paraphrase, but i read it like this. "You think that you are so bad, Job, sack up and answer a few questions I have for you. Why do you ask me questions about things you know nothing about? Do you know how to do any of these things? Do you have any of these abilities? Keep your trap shut. I own this floor. All of Job 38, 39 and 40 exhibit the power that God has. Our God is an awesome God, and I love that He doesn't mind telling us so. God, help me to be confident in your guidance and to daily be reminded of all you can and will do in and through me.

Parking Garage Christianity

" Do you guys validate?" How many of us have wandered around a mall, being jostled by the shopping masses, looking for a place where we can receive a "Yes" answer? This is not one of my favorite experiences in this physical realm, but it is something that I have had to engage in more times than I have ever wanted to. In the spiritual realm, I have asked myself the question "am i validated" infinitely more times. Have I received the stamp of approval that shows that I am worthy? Can I wander from task to task, or flee from sin that makes me more worthy to be validated spiritually? Don't do this-Do more of that. Don't go there ever-Go here once or twice a week. The list continued to grow, as did my failure to meet any of the requirements of that list. It was until just a few years ago that I still found myself searching for the right vendor to "validate" my Christianity. As I painfully reached the conclusion that there were no more things that I could or could not do that would validate me spiritually, I reached an important conclusion. My validation had already been achieved. A great big stamp "Debt Paid" had been stamped across my soul in a bright red ink. I realized I could never become more validated, and I could never become less validated. I could never be loved more, and could never be loved less. What I did find is that I can love more. I can love God more for his blessing of salvation, I can love my family more as they are a gift from God. I can love life more, because it is a gift of God meant to be used as appreciation for his work of validating me that he achieved on Calvary. Now the question that I ask myself is not "am I validated"- as I know that this work has been done, it is "how can I show my gratitude for the great work that has been done". " How can I seek to glorify God because of his gift" This should be our focus as Christians. "Lord, help me to realize that I am not longer stuck in the parking garage, looking for someone to tell me I am "OK". Help me to live with the reality that through you, I am more than ok, I am a conqueror.

Vulnerable in Love

I have a confession to make. It may not come as a surprise to some of those around me, but it was kind a revelation that took place this evening, so it is new to me. I am good at showing love, good at doing the things that one who loves must do, but really bad feeling comfortable in that love. My feelings of my worth and being loved are largely based upon certain earmarks of performance. This has been true in my faith, in my family, and in my marriage. My love always included intricate formulas which allow me show the proper dedication and fulfill the necessary obligations of love, without really opening myself up to loving or being loved. I have often played the part of one who does not care much for love because I could not handle the vulnerability that would be necessary if I was to truly love. As I was enjoying time with my son tonight, my love for him prompted my eyes to well up with tears. After thinking "this is ridiculous!", I actually began to focus on what I felt, and compared it to how we experience our Heavenly Father. He is so open and vulnerable in His love toward us. He is so vulnerable that He even gives us the option of not loving Him at all. He sheds tears of joy when we sit close to Him, and he sheds tears of sorrow when we turn our backs and flee His presence. His love does not say, "I will only love you if you promise not to hurt me". His love says, "I will always love you, even though it is the very nature of your being to hurt Me." To even go a step further, He says, "Not only will I love you when you turn your back on me, I will send my Son to die in your place even though your natural reaction is to reject this gift." God- the omnipotent, omniscient, all present being made His Son vulnerable to us knowing we would call the name Barrabas along with the screaming mob. He knew we would gamble over the clothes Christ died in. He knew that we would reject Him time and time again. He knew that we would take His words and twist them to serve our needs. He knew all of this before He extended His love to us, yet He still loved us first. I love my son, and will do anything for him, but God loves us infinitely more, and already did everything for us. Lord, help me to show the same vulnerability in loving others that you showed us in gifting your Son to us. I know that I am loved by You. Let that be all the safety net that I need.

When to look back.

I was sitting in church yesterday, listening to a challenging message about Pressing on Toward the Prize, and how it is important not to look back when racing because it can cause you to lose momentum, stumble, or veer off course. Although I agree with this , in typical oppositional fashion, I immediately began to look back in my own life. This time it was very different for me. In the past, any looks back in my life led to feelings of depression, insecurity, failed religious effort, and the depravity of sin. When I looked back yesterday, I saw all of these things were certainly there, but I felt no emotional attachment to them. Instead, I saw a brilliant flash of grace wherever these sins existed previously and the sharpness and clarity of those times when I stumbled is slowly fading from my field of vision. It does not mean that I will not stumble again, or that I will not have to continue to strive, but now my looking back is cause for much rejoicing at the overwhelming love and grace and forgiving power of Jesus. Much like a marathon runner, these intermittent looks back give us a great opportunity to check the path that we have already run, and thereby gauge the race that we will run in the future. I am just very glad that when I did look back, the crippled, plodding man I was who wore the race jersey and started when the gun sounded is now a somewhat faster, somewhat more ambulatory, and certainly more focused racer. I am not yet a world class runner, but I thank God for his blessing in guiding me on the course and nudging me a little when I try to take a shortcut. I can actually begin, like Paul, to look forward to the prize. Lord, help me to press on toward the prize, and only to use these looks back as encouragement for future hills I must climb.

Not quick enough sand

This is some writing from my earlier life.

Searching for clarity
Through cloudy gray skies,
The darkness is brutal
It's blinding my eyes.
Foundation solid,
sought for, not found.
I'll find it some day
6 feet in the ground.

This is LBC material. Sorry Snoop Dog. It means Life Before Christ.

Health Care? Who Cares? Should we Care?

I must confess that at times I get caught up in the health care dislike that is pervading the nation. It goes against all of the political ideologies that I hold dear. That being said, this comprises about 10% of my makeup. Government, according to the Bible, is put in place by God. This may be a hard pill for some to swallow, but let's put some historical perspective to this. In the early days of Christianity, the church was most certainly opposed to the political system under which they lived. This system's corruption was evidenced by Christians being used as torches in the emporers' gardens and used as fodder for mass entertainment that puts our Hollywood to shame as far as its perversity and bloodlust. I cannot be certain that all of the early church was not abuzz with the latest election results, or the latest legislation that was not aligned with their politics, but It is safe to assume that they were far more concerned with showing Christ through their lifestyles. The early church handled these persecutions and setbacks through love for their neighbours. When they rescued babies from trash piles where they had been discarded, or when they offered solace to the slave who had endured a lashing in deference to his master, they were living, not talking. Let us not assume that our time is any more evil than any other, let us know that we are as lost as any and every generation that has ever existed, and need Christ the same as any other people who have walked the earth. When you are without life, you cannot be any more dead than any other. Things may seem sad and desperate politically at this time, but, without Christ, things are deadly and desperate for all times.

Poe-esque poetry "trapped"

I then through love's parlour stumble
Grasp at keys, now clanging-fumble,
Drop them on the dusty floor.
Hands now through the dust are sifting,
Broken remnants, gathered lifting,
None a key will fit that door.
Cobwebs clinging like a tether,
Rusty handles aged by weather,
Sealed so tight as sealed for ever..

A coffin now, this room I'm in
Through keyholes peer, remembering when,
Doors seem opened,
slammed shut again.

The Best Rescue Ever

When I was much younger (and perhaps a little foolhardy), my brother and I planned a hunting trip on Kodiak Island. Being young and foolish, we brought very little food, and almost no water. We did stop by Mcdonalds to grab a bag of cheeseburgers which would sustain us for our short trip. We were dropped off on a beautiful mountain lake and excitedly began our hunt. We had one deer down when the weather hit us hard. One of out tents cartwheeled down the mountain, and we had had to hunker down inside the other tent, which was almost blown flat by the wind. In the back of our minds, we knew that no airplane could pick us up in this weather. This continued for 3 days. On the 4th day, we awoke to the sound of air traffic overhead. Every 20 or 30 minutes we would hear a plane cruise by. We were at our wits end, and were very anxiously awaiting our ride home. After about 2 hours of waiting, a small speck in the distance began increasing in size. Closer and closer it came as we scrambled to get our gear together. We were overjoyed, we had been rescued at last. How much joy do we feel when we think about God rescuing us from circumstances that were fare more dire than what I experienced that weekend? Do we raise our hands and shout for joy because we have been delivered? Do we overflow so much with gratitude and love that we proclaim it to our neighbors? Do we even think about it on a daily basis? Do we long to worship Him? Do we long to be with other believers? Do we exhibit any of the fruits of the Spirit? Has he rescued us from a world that we are clawing and scratching to return to, or are we becoming set apart for Him? Is our life such that those around us who are of the world will see that we are rescued, and that they also have access to The Great Rescuer. Lord, help me to appreciate more the work that you did on the cross. Help it to permeate my thought process, and help me to develop the strength to be in the world but not of the world.

How not to be miserable?

Misery is such an easy emotion to be disdainful of. We all know that misery is not a good thing, and that happy people are so much better off. During church today, I was challenged about how the Christian should experience joy. As I reflected upon this throughout the remainder of the day, I reached several important conclusions. In my past, I was really good at finding misery. I might have even pretty good at finding happiness. I was really bad at finding joy. In fact, I am still not that good at finding joy. I, like many beleivers, am often focused on avoiding things that can cause us spiritual misery. While it is good to avoid those things that make us miserable, it often can become our focus. God is certainly pleased when we discontinue things that separate us from Him, but how much more pleased will He be when we have dispatched those demons and begun to focus on building toward His all encompassing joy. This is done through loving his people. This is not always easy, as a very large percentage of His people might be defective. This makes it hard for us who are critical by nature . I have a major weakness in finding joy, as I often look at the compliance checklist of things to do and not to do. When we are truly seeking Christ's joy, we will not need a litmus test to see what is right and what is wrong. We will know because we have His True Joy. How not to be miserable may be the wrong question. How about this- How do we experience God's joy? God is not a God who operates in the negative. Lord, help me to find joy in You and in fellowship with your people.