Have you ever had one of those periods in your life when you felt like you were on top of the world? Great Job. Great family. Great car. Great friends. You may have even had a great spiritual victory over pride, addiction, greed, lust or any of the other pitfalls that exist as we foray into a spiritually darkened world. It feels great, doesn't it? Have you also felt the rapid descent as these victories are replaced by new battles, not so perfect families, an angry boss, a broke down old jalopy, or a friend who betrays you? In all honesty, the majority of my adult life, and almost all of my Christian walk has been comprised of these fluctuations between feelings of great blessing to feelings of the deepest despair. This spiritual yo-yo ing is made even more difficult as I struggle to decipher what of my emotions are spiritual in nature and what of my emotions are a result of battling with a mental disorder that manifests itself in much the same way. I have struggled with this distinction for many, many years, but tonight I have reached a strong conclusion. I am who God made me to be. I am not bound by any chemical imbalance, learned behavior or whatever else my natural mind, absent from God, may use as an excuse. Sure, I am still going to be proactive, understanding that I need to take care of myself physically and mentally in the here and now, but no longer will I allow myself the luxury of feeling these ups and downs as a result of my diagnosis. Instead I will feel these ups and downs as one who is certain that God knows that these ups and downs are a typical part of every Christian walk, and that there is absolutely nothing unique about me in that area. Yep, you are expected to have these ups and downs too. The Bible is pretty clear about this. let me show you.
Imagine that you just had one of the greatest victories that you ever experienced in your life. Elijah is a prophet who experienced exactly that. The one True God of Israel has just empowered Elijah to embarrass 450 prophets of Baal as they danced, cavorted, slashed at themselves and prayed in vain for their offering to be consumed by flame. Elijah then builds a small moat around his offering, dumps water on it to the point that it is filled , and fire from the Lord comes from Heaven and burns the offering with such heat that even the water in the moat is gone. To make the victory even greater, the people of Israel are with him as they slaughter the 450 prophets who had been sacrificing the children of Israel, forcing them into prostitution and performing barbaric acts of worship. Talk about the top of the world. I look back at this and think, "wow" if I saw the glory and the power of the Lord like this, I would be a lean, mean, Christ-following machine. How ineffectual are my thoughts apart from God. (At least I have this in common with Elijah). In verse 49 of I Kings 18, we see that Elijah is filled with the power of the Lord as he races back to Jezreel following this amazing victory. We see him 3 and 4 verses later running in exactly the opposite direction, fleeing the threat of death that Jezebel has set upon him. Elijah spends a whole day running and at the end of that day says "I have had enough Lord, Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors." God is not surprised by this. In fact, God is there to nurture and sustain Elijah as an angel brings him food and water and allows Elijah to rest. There is no voice of condemnation, no sigh of disappointment, no anger that yet another prophet has failed. God sends the blessing of food drink and rest to Elijah. Later in the chapter, God reveals to Elijah that he is not done with him yet, but even this was done in a small whisper rather than in a blaze of fire, an earthquake, or a powerful whisper. Whenever I find myself flagging spiritually, or when you find yourself spending more time where Elijah found himself after his victory, remember that God is whispering to you in a voice that is free from condemnation. It is free from all of the thoughts and doubts that cycle through our heads as we question our ability to follow him. His voice is filled with a certainty that we will press on to even greater heights and will be available and eager to hear what he calls us to next. Next time you experience victory think about this. Know that it is very likely that a valley may be looming. It may be big, it may be small, but you can rest assured that his voice will be calling out , lovingly whispering his plan for you.
