Thankful for what is not

As I reflected on Thanksgiving, my mind immediately went to the things that i am thankful for. Family, health, job, insurance and time to relax this holiday. As the children went to bed and things began to quiet down, my thoughts turned a little darker, and moments of depression began to creep in. My parents and brother and sister are far away, the kids are often taxing, any down time just feels like a time to try to survive until the next battle and any number of other daily stressors crept back into my thoughts. As is sometime the case, this spiral downward carried me towards recalling some of the darkest days of my life. When family meant very little to me. When my days were spent trying to meet the insistence of addiction. When I feel I was not even close to the person that God intended me to be. I pictured all of the times that I truly made choices that were worthy of physical death. In this dark moment, God handed me a revelation that that is all part of a person that I am not anymore. I can read the pages of that book, but I am no longer a major character in those "Chapters of the Lost" That is not who I am!! That is not what I want!! That is not what God wants for me!! So, on this Thanksgiving I find myself thankful for all of the things God has given me, but find myself infinitely more grateful for all that He has taken away. God, let me remember all that you have saved me from, and may it propel me towards what you have saved me to.