Father Knows Best

Any of us who are followers of this atypical man called Jesus have heard the Bible verse about all things working together for good for them that love God and that are called according to His purpose. I heard this consistently as I grew up but never really gave it any thought. I followed many diverse, often destructive trails without giving this any thought. I had no inkling that God was working a plan in me, and at times I would even have told you that I didn't even want Him to. I had grabbed control of my own sinking ship and as lawn chairs and the orchestra around me slipped into the murky depths my hands still clung to the wheel of the ship, my lip whistling an oblivious tune. I had no idea or thought that God had a plan for me. I thought that my plan was just fine. One of the indicators that I looked to to determine the success of my plan was that there were those around me who seemed to be doing OK following a similar plan. One of the people who I often looked to for confirmation of this fact was my brother. We often times had found ourselves floundering in the same waters and for some reason I felt that as long as I was OK with him then I was on the right path. As we aged, the paths that we were on began to angle off from each other and I found myself in the uncharted waters of my own misery and addiction. My brother knew of my struggles, but he was on a path that was headed in a much more positive direction than I was. Still, the bond that we had as brothers was rock solid even though my lifestyle undoubtedly put strain on him and his young marriage. We had always been brothers and we always would be. Little did I know that this feeling of being joined so close with my brother was a tool that God, in his infinite wisdom, had a plan for. In the meantime, I continued my downward spiral. My difficulties forced me to the point where I had to make a geographical move, if only for a brief respite from my addictions. Still, it was very hard to leave my brother behind as I moved away from he and the rest of my family. This move was really a last gasp, a last wrenching on the wheel of my ship as I tried to salvage a wasteful, floundering existence. I had exhausted what I thought were all my resources but during that year, God grabbed me, shook me, and took the wheel out of my hand. It was sometime during this year when I received an unexpected call from home saying that my brother had just had a major heart attack and that he had actually been dead on the table. He had been brought back by the love of God and by the persistence of his doctor. His children would still have their father. At the time I really did not know how to feel as I was far away from home and far removed. Disbelief, shock, relief and many other feelings ran through my head, but none of them went much below the surface. I know now that I could not actually cope with the thought of my brother dying, so I kept my emotions at an arm's length. How is this part of a plan? You might be inclined to believe that this event caused me to straighten up my act and follow God out of a profound fear and respect for His power. For some reason it did not effect me this way. In fact, it was many years later when I actually began to realize God's intentions through this trial. Contrary to what many of us believe trials are not always put in place to cause us to veer towards a different path. I think that most of the time that is what God intends for us, but I am blessed that this situation is different. This situation allows me, ona dialy basis to glory in the love that God showed for me. I know, in my heart, that God nearly took my brother to accomplish a much greater purpose. Now, my brother and I are closer than we have ever been. We are not out partying, or carousing or living our lives in proximity geographically, but there is no feeling so strong or powerful as living my life in proximity spiritually with my brother. I talk to him across the miles and hear of the love he has for God, and how that love affects his marriage and his fathering of three beautiful children. I, who know all of the flaws, all of the weaknesses, all of the mistakes of the past and can look at him and see the man that God has formed him to be. I can think of the legacy of Godliness that he will leave for his children, and that marriage that increasingly seems blessed by God. What once were conversations about things of little or no kingdom value are now confirmations of God's work and confession of struggles that are turned over to God. His is a life that is renewed, and I, who have been his only brother for 36 years am so blessed that God has shown me the true meaning of brotherhood through the power of His love and grace. I can imagine my brother laying on the table, the doctors and nurses frantically scrambling around, trying to save this young father and husband and then I picture the God of all Creation breathing life into His Creation once again. As my relationship with my brother continues to expand into a deeper understanding of God's work and as we are better able to sharpen each other, I humbly thank God that the breath that he breathed into my brother on that hospital bed is being shared with me to this day. This is the blessing that God had in store for me. Thank you God for the great contrast of being lost and being found, being dead and being raised again. Thank you God for blessing me with a believing family and a brother who breathes new life.