The White Flag Prayer

Several years back after reaching a point of spiritual stagnancy, and after leaving a trail of scars on myself and on many others, I reached a point where I was all alone. I had not been abandoned, I had merely fled. In doing so, I found that the convenient blame and excuses that I often laid at the feet of others were now sitting on my doorstep. It was I who was living my life, and it was I who had made a shambles of it. Having no one else around to save me forced me to realize that God was the one who had to be in control of my life. This was easier said than done. I remember one hot afternoon in Phoenix, standing on my back porch and battling for 15-20 minutes on whether or not I could actually pray the prayer that needed to be said. You see, it was not that I thought that God would ignore me, it was that I knew that my surrender would have accompany that prayer, and I had fought for so long to be "in charge". When I prayed that prayer, I felt a physical lifting of a heavy weight, and knew that the battle was not in the words of the prayer, but the surrender that accompanied that prayer. I continued to pray every hour or so for several days, and each time knew that it was not how long the prayer was or how well it was stated, but it was the surrender that accompanied it. I was acknowledging that God was in charge, and was ceding that leadership role to him. I try to make this the subcontext of every prayer I make, because the old man is always pushing back, and complete and constant surrender is the only way that I can be who God intends me to be. Pray several times a day with the white flag waving, and the Great Victor who has already won the battle will continue to lead you to victory. Lord, may my prayers focus on my surrender and submission to your will. Thank you for all of your blessings.